50 Things NOT to do before you're 12

If you're planning summer days out and are pencilling in visits to National Trust properties, then here's a reminder of why your children might not thank you for it (courtesy of a bit of English homework from Sidney aged 11 (right), the soon-to-be-disowned son of Mary, one of our brilliant graphic designers) ...

Bored at the National Trust by Sidney Holmes

Most people go out to the beach or a swimming pool etc but our family insist on going to the National Trust property. These are so boring, because my Mum spends hours reading all the signs in the house or garden and never misses a single one. My Dad just enjoys taking us there because he knows we don’t like them. But then he gets bored when Mum takes too long in the houses. Probably the worst experience of going to a National Trust property was when we went to Winston’s Churchill’s old house. And us four kids just walked through the house looking in each room sort of taking in the atmosphere, and once we had looked at all of them we decided to wait in the gardens for our parents. Dad came out of the house about 10 minutes later saying he didn’t know where Mum was… so we waited for probably 45ish minutes just mucking around not doing much and getting bored.  And then eventually my mum emerged from the house chatting with a load of old biddies that often go to National Trust properties. And because we had been there for most of the day it was becoming evening and we were all getting hungry. But, because the cafés at the National Trust properties are so expensive our parents didn’t want to spend a fortune there. So what made it even worse was the journey back, my little brother constantly asking ‘are we there yet?’ and my older siblings moaning about hunger issues and needing the toilet. And to put the cherry on top of the cake my mum was boring us with facts about Churchill’s House and how the tour guides were so good at answering questions and how she had learnt so much in one day. And then there’s me just plain hungry and starting to get a headache. And this is why I hope not to bore my children like this and make them suffer like I did.